I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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