forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
