i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
