okay pat passed out under dana's car
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
