that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
