Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She's the barista slut.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
