Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
