Already got asked if we're dating
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
