Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Randomize
