He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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