I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's blow job season.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
