just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Shitshow foam night was such a success
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
