how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
