She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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