dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
