i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
