I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
