New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will pee on everything he values.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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