I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
