My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
