Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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