the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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