I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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