My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
