She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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