it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just forgot I was standing up.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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