I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
