Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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