Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
