Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
