I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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