I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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