jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
