walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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