i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
