Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
