Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
