So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
