super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
