i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
