dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
