Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
