How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
