Dual....:-)
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
