I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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