Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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