we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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