If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
