you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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