why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
